Cheshire's Grin
by MrWriterWriter
Summary: Just when Harry thought his life couldn't get any different, he had to find that collar. Independant/SemiCreatureHarry. Bashings. M for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**If love was the 'power he knows not', how the hell did Tom get beat by a disarming spell, after it made an curse that was supposed to be UNBLOCKABLE bounce back at him? Explain that to me, somebody! And 'elder wand' doesn't count. **

Speech

_Thought._

This hit me when I saw some Alice in Wonderland pictures at DA, This'll be an experimental chapter (more like a prologue) to see how it goes.

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"Ugh...I don't think Il'l be using the Floo again any time soon." Harry coughed, knocking soot and ash off his clothes while he climbed to his feet, "Blimey, Ron, how do you stay on...your..feet..." His voice trailed off when he noticed none of the Weasleys were around, nor was anyone for that matter. A hesitant look around showed he was in a dimly-lit store. A thick layer of dust lay everywhere and the air was stale and musty. This was a store he was unfamiliar with.

_"Where am I..?"_He thought, looking at some of the more gruesome-looking items up for sale; a set of human bones that lay under a glass case, an opal necklace with a warning not to touch, that it had caused the deaths of nine muggles. He suppressed a shudder as his eyes glanced over a pair of blood-caked knives and a gnarled severed hand resting on a pillow.

His couriousity feeling somewhat morbid for some reason, he began to reach out, wondering if it was for real.

It was then that a glint in the corner of his eye grabbed his attention. He looked around to see where it came from; another glint drawing his gaze to what appeared to be a strip of cloth on a table in the corner. Making sure no one was around, he edged over to get a better look. As he got closer, he found it was a collar. It looked to be made of leather, with a gleaming, blood-red buckle in the shape of an elaborate double-C. It looked a tad big for a cat or dog; but what truly struck him as odd was the fact that the section of table it was laying on was completely clean; looking almost brand new. Unable to resist the urge, he gingerly reached out and tapped it.

Without warning, the collar suddenly lurched, making him jump back, "Bloody hell!" He yelped, curiosity quickly turning to fear at the thought he had just touched something that might be cursed.

_"Hello, young one" _A voice spoke up. It was a baritone, but somewhat lazy-sounding. Wasn't hard to tell whoever it belonged to was male.

"What the..!?" Harry whirled around, looking for the owner of the voice. Unfortunately, he failed to bring his feet along and ended back up on the floor.

The voice came back, chuckling this time that sounded oddly like purring. _"Calm down, I'm right in front of you." _

He stared, "In front..? " His eyes rose back to the table, "The..the collar??"

_"Bingo. To tell you the truth, it's a welcome change of pace to finally talk to someone instead of just hearing that slimey Burkes all the time._

_"_Burkes..?"

_"Yeah, didn't you know? Whether or not you planned to, you ended up in "Bourgen and Burke's'", a store in Knockturn Ally."_

"Knockturn...but I said Diagon..." Harry immediately started to worry about being caught.

_"Relax, Knockturn's just off Diagon. Anyway, you might want to know that when you touched the collar, I was able to get a quick look through your head."_

Harry frowned, "You what?" He asked, rather affronted.

_"Easy. It was an automatic thing, think of it is a security feature. The collar was checking to see if you were worthy. And since I'm in the collar, I saw some of your memories"_

"Worthy? Of what?" He started to feel uneasy about the direction the conversation was taking.

_"To wear the collar, of course. It'll only select someone it's sure won't use it for dark purposes; robbing people, murder, that kinda stuff. And, well, I think it's deemed you a fitting wearer."_

"I'm..I'm still confused..what are you talking about? a 'fitting wearer'?"

_"Here, before I explain, let's just get our names out there. I already know you're Harry, you can call me 'C' for now. Anyway, the collar's decided you'd more than likly be able to make the best use of its abilities, someone whose life could really use improvement. And well, Harry, I'll be blunt. Nothing personal, but your life, for lack of a better word, sucks."_

"W-well, it's nothing great, but..."

_"Harry, I saw what you had to deal with. Pardon my French, but the Dursleys are assholes. That plus from the looks of things, only a handful of people in the magic world really see you as 'Harry, twelve year old student' instead of 'The Boy-Who-Lived. You know I'm right about that." _C continued, _"We both know you don't really care for the fame shoved on you, especially because of how you became famous to start with."_

As much as he wanted to argue, Harry knew C was telling the truth about that; a magical celebrity at the cost of his parents...a factor no one seemed to take into account.

_"All you'd really like is be just another student at school, hanging out with friends, getting in trouble for being late to class." _C chuckled, _"Getting caught in a closet with a pretty girl when you get older." _He laughed when Harry blushed at the thought before getting serious, _"Instead, you have prople apparently holding you to some silly standard because of something you never even planned, a teacher that hates you for some reason, and to be honest, your last year feels real iffy to me. Why would your headmaster hide something that valuable behind spells a group of beginning students could get past, especially when you think about it, the tasks matched you three perfectly. Chasing a flying key on a broom, chess, even a logic puzzle..all while one Albus Dumbledore is gone. And giving you a invisibility cloak, even if it was your pop's, that's just begging you to sneak around._

Harry felt himself go cold at that information. As he went over what C said, he began to realize, the tasks HAD matched up to him..'youngest seeker in a century'...Hermione, the smartest witch in her year..and Ron, who had a head for the game. And as he thought, instead of using the Floo for a fast route..the headmaster instead went on a broom, an obviously slower mode of transport, "But..but why..?" He couldn't hide the hurt in his voice, he had looked up to the man...someone who had helped him get away from his misery at number four. But now, it seemed like the man had deliberately planned it all.

_"I'm sorry Harry..I wish I knew." _C replied, honestly sympathetic to the boy,_" But look, the offers on the table; put on the collar and I promise things will start looking up. This is YOUR life, no one else's, and it's time you took it by the nose. It's up to you whether or not you accept."_

He stared at it for a moment, his thoughts in an upheaval. Even though part of him wanted to just leave and get back with the others, another part kept mulling over what C told him and agreed.. Finally, almost on reflex, he grabbed hold of the collar.

_"I was hoping you'd make the choice, kiddo." _C called out as Harry looped it around his neck, _"I promise you won't regret it. Just one warning, you'll feel weird for a few minutes when you put it on." _He let out a whoop of glee, _"Look out world! There's a new Cheshire Cat in town!"_

"A new what cat?" Harry asked as the buckle clicked itself into place, the twin Cs now glowing brightly at his throat. Unfortunately, he didn't get an answer before everything suddenly went black.

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Meanwhile, at Hogwarts, Professor McGonagall was on her way to go over lesson material for the upcoming year when she stopped dead in her tracks, "W-why do I suddenly have the feeling things are going to get...unusual here?" She asked to no one in particular.

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I guess this could be considered a CreatureHarry in some respects since he won't really be completely human in this one. He'll pretty much be a smartarse shameless flirt in this fic, and not afraid to say what's on his mind thanks to C's encouragement. As for parings, thinking Susan Bones, Luna, or both. But I'll save that for later on.

And there'll be Ron/Ginny/Dumbledore bashing in this one, mainly 'cause it's fun to do. :) But like I said, this chapter's mainly to see how the idea goes.


	2. Chapter 2

**I apologize to those that like Harry/Ginny, but I just can't see it.**

Speech

_Thought_

Part of me is tempted to add Hermione. PoA showed she's a cat person, after all...

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_"Hey, Harry. Wakey, wakey." _C whispered.

"Unn..wa..?"

_"Easy...now that you have the collar on, we can talk in your head. That way you don't look like a nutter. You've been out of a few minutes."_

_"Flipping hell......I thought you said I'd just feel weird for a moment.."_ Harry muttered, spitting out dust.

_"Well, blacking out feels weird, doesn't it?" _

_"Whatever..wait...what the? Where the hell did I go!?" _Sitting up, he quickly learned his body was nowhere to be seen, even though he could still feel it. Even his clothes were gone.

_"Harry, relax. I should've told you before. By accepting the collar, you've agreed to become the next Cheshire Cat."_

_"What..what? Cheshire...but that's just.."_

C laughed, _"I kid you not, Harry. It was just over a hundred years ago when Alice went to Wonderland; at first she was kinda like you when you started Hogwarts, unsure of herself, too busy trying to make sense of it all to really enjoy what was around. When she met the Cheshire Cat, they both thought the other was rather odd for a while, but after a while they actually managed to grow on each other. He quickly became her guide, so to speak, showing her the ins and outs of Wonderland." _Harry heard him sigh in a reminiscing way_, "Unfortunately, it wasn't long before she had to return home. She managed to make an enemy of the Queen of Hearts. Ugh, she wasn't exactly Miss Popular, if you catch my drift. Alice managed to get away, but the Cheshire Cat ended up on the block; the queen apparently had a thing for beheading people..and the cat...you get the idea. This was his collar."_

Harry chuckled this time, it wasn't too hard for him to put two and two together for this, "_Don't you mean this was __**your**__ collar?" _He was greeted by what could only be described as stunned silence. After a moment, he could hear chuckling.

_"Heh, smarter than people give you credit for. The Original Cheshire Cat, at your service. Well, on to business. Like I said, now that you put my collar on, you're my successor."_

_"So, what does that mean?"_

_"Get outta this dump first. The Weasleys are probably going nuts wondering where you are. I'll tell you on the way."_

Harry complied and hopped to his feet, feeling oddly springy for some reason. He marvled at how fast and silent he was able to leave.

_"All right." _C began, taking a business attitude, _"First off, invisibility. I managed to do it while you were out so you wouldn't be spotted. A little practice and you'll be able to control how much of your body can vanish. You wouldn't believe the kind of mayhem that would let you cause."_

Harry contemplated it and found himself grinning evily as he literally danced between the people in the ally.

_"This is another one, speed and silence. Add those to the mix, and you're quite literally a ghost."_

_"Ohh, I could get used to this." _Harry's grin widened. It didn't take long for him to spot a huge, and familiar figure heading into Diagon, _"Hey, there's Hagrid. Think I should let him know I'm here?"_

He could almost hear C shrug, _"Your choice, just think about being visible again and you'll return to view. Although I should warn you...how do I put this...since you're the Cheshire Cat now, you're not really a hundred percent human anymore."_

_"What?"_

_"You'll see what I mean when he sees you." _Was C's only response before Harry focused on dropping the invisibility, grinning as he saw himself return to view right behind the towering man.

"Hey, Hagrid." He called out, lightly tugging the coat.

" 'Arry? Blimey, what'er yeh doin' in a place like...." The groundskeeper's eyes widened, " 'A-Arry...Merlin, what...what happened to yeh!?" Hagrid dropped the can he was carrying.

In a flash, Harry's attention turned to the falling object and both hands shot out, grabbing it inches from the ground, "Flesh-eating Slug Repellant?" He said, reading the label, "_Whoa, my reflexes were never THAT good, even during Quiddich."_

_"Boosted reflexes. Told you you were fast." _

"They've been ruinin' the school's cabbages." Hagrid answer, "But that's beside the point, what in the world's happened to yeh??" He gestured randomly towards the young boy, "Yeh..yeh...yer a cat!"

_"See? Told you." _C commented as Harry looked toward a nearby window and realized what he meant.

" Again I say..Bloody.." Harry whispered as he stared at his new reflection. A pair of large, pointed cat ears stood proudly from the top of his head. Ears that had an odd pattern of alternating light and dark purple horizontal stripes. His hair was even messier-looking, draping down to cover where his old ears used to be. He hand a hand through his only to find it felt more like a cat's fur than human hair.

As he did, he quickly noticed claws a few centimeters long had replaced his fingernails and oddly enough, pads on his palm and finger tips, even though he could still feel through them. But what really caught his attention were his eyes; they still had their emerald green hue, but now his pupils were slitted like a cat's and had an eerie gleam to them. _"Bloody hell, C. You said changes, but I didn't think it'd be this much." _He thought as he discovered he now had a tail as well that had the same color scheme as his new ears.

_"Actually, those are just the inital changes, but you should be getting through the full thing before getting back to school. Don't worry, you'll be loving it when you find out"_

Harry noticed Hagrid still staring. With a little help from C, he explained about taking the Floo and the possibility that it had inadvertently woken up some magical creature blood that had been dormant in him, hoping that would be an acceptable reason.

"Well, odder things 'ave happened, I suppose." Hagrid said, still somewhat startled by his young friend's sudden change., "We better get goin'; the Weasleys are probably beside themselves 'bout now."

It took Harry a few minutes to get accustomed to some of the looks he was getting, namely girls and some of the younger women. One girl, apparently a higher year than him and of asian descent, judging from her complexion, had happily squealed 'Neko bishonen!' when he went past. He was confused for a moment until C managed to explain it since Alice had taught him about other languages. It took C all he had not to laugh at his new friend's blazing blush. It didn't end until he and Hagrid caught up to the Weasleys outside Flourish and Blott's.

"Bloody hell, Harry! What happened to you!?" Ron blurted out when he saw him, a rap on the head by his mother for swearing quickly followed.

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"Knockturn ally....could have gotten...!" Was all Harry could make out after suddenly being engulfed by of Molly's hugs once. He managed to catch Hagrid relaying his magical creature excuse to the others as he extracted himself from her grasp.

"Wicked!" The twins said in unison as they each tapped an ear, watching them flicker on reflex.

Harry stifled a laugh. His new ears were kinda ticklish.

Ginny was staring at him a bit TOO intently for his taste, especially with what C was fairly certain was poorly hidden lust.

_"Ew...that's not right!" _Both of them thought, Harry making a note to make sure he was never alone with her in the same room while he was at the Burrow.

Ron, however...the boy seemed to be angry at the change. Like it was an affront to him in some manner. Harry shook it off, figuring it was just his imagination.

After a trip to Gringotts (where Harry picked up a bad vibe from Ron and Ginny, and Molly, which worried him, when he got money from his vault)

_"Hey, C, _" Harry thought as something hit him on during the cart ride, _"How come nobody has said anything about the collar? I'm surpried no one's asked where I got it from."_

_"It's got the Wonderland equivalent of a Notice-Me-Not charm on it. Nobody will see it unless you specifically want them to." _Came the reply.

When they returned to the bookstore, Harry noticed a poster outside indicating a book signing by Gilderoy Lockheart inside. "THAT'S gonna be our new DA teacher!?" He exclaimed as he pointed at the man in the picture.

Molly sighed dreamily, much to Arthur's chagrin "You're very lucky, you know. He's

"You have got to be kidding me!" He muttered as the group went in, "Merlin's hairy butt crack, he dresses poofier than Liberace! _What's going on?? I don't think I've ever been this vocal about something."_

_"Heh, I think that's my fault. A bit of my personality seems to have meshed with your own." _C replied sheepishly, _"Wasn't expecting that."_

_"Really.." _Harry replied dryly, _"Well, I guess that explains why...hello!" _His attention was quickly diverted by a cute strawberry blond in line with an older woman who he guessed to be her mother, "Just a tick..Susan? Susan Bones?"

The girl turned to see who called her name and froze when she saw, "H-Harry Potter??" She squeaked, staring at him like she was worried she'd just be seeing things, "What...what happened...?"

"Huh? Oh, this stuff?" He twitched his ears, "It's a long story, and in case you were wondering." His tail lightly flicked against her cheeck, making her giggle, "It's all real." He found himself enjoying the blush she was acquiring,

It wasn't long before some other the people started pointing at him and whispered amongst themselves, and that started to annoy him "What? You people never seen a catboy before?" He snapped at the other people who had began to stare at him like an attraction. After they resumed minding their own business, he turned back to the shy 'Puff, "I take you and your mom are here for the signing?"

Susan nodded, "I know he's supposed to be great wizard, but.." She bit her lip hesitantly, an act that Harry quickly realized he liked seeing, "He just seems kinda into himself a little too much."

_"I have a feeling I'm gonna like her." _He grinned to himself, not realizing the older woman was looking at the two with a grin of her own, nor that he was visibly grinning in a way that made the poor girl blush even brighter.

Unfortunately, his conversation was cut short by Ron pushing him back up towards Molly and Arthur, "Are you barmy or something, Harry?" The redhead snapped, "She's a Hufflepuff! Almost all of them are nearly Squibs"

Harry bristled, "What the hell's that supposed to mean? I don't give a damn what house she's in, Ronald. From what I could tell, she seems like a nice girl and I was trying to talk to her, you prat!" He snapped back. He was really disliking the attitude the youngest male weasley was exhibiting.

"Well, well, Harry Potter I presume" came the smarmy voice of Lockheart as a hand shot out and pulled Harry over to him, "Smile, Harry. Together we'll make the front page of the Daily Prophet."

"Pedophile!" Harry yelled, grabbing one of the copies of _Magical Me_ the man was signing and brought it up against his head with a loud 'POW!'

"Child Molester!" The book impacted from the other side, "Police! Rape!" Harry finished the combo by bringing the impromptu weapon up, spine-first, in an impressive uppercut that promptly sent Lockheart ass-over-teakettle to the floor.

_"Winner by knockout!" _C hollered, giving Harry a mental thumbs up.

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As you can see. I kinda like Arthur, Molly not so much...


	3. Chapter 3

**Robst has a point in his story 'Knowledge is Power': The other champions all get to rescue girls in the second task (even if it was her sister, Fluer still had to get a girl) yet they decide Harry has to save a guy..**

**Whiskey-Tango-Foxtrot....**

Speech

_Thought_

**Wonderbee31: **I'd be more scared as to what Kitty!Hermione would do to him. :P

**Seel'vor: **True, but you can't hit something when it's not there.

**Chester the Russian Ninja: ***turns shifty* Maybe...

**sandybeach6th: **Don't worry, there'll be a couple dark spots when he finds out about being used, but those won't be too bad. and he'll have to deal with his share of being flirted with too. aside from that, he'll just be a smartalek.

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"Harry, I can't believe you did that!" Arthur gasped between peals of laughter as he pulled the boy out of the shop to get him away from the horrified women. The twins soon followed. The youngest members weren't so lucky; Molly made them stay to help check on the battered man.

"That was bloody brilliant, mate!" Fred cried out, using his brother to stay on his feet. George was laughing so hard all he could do was snort.

Harry chuckled as well, "Shame it wasn't a copy of _Hogwarts, A History_." He said before his expression sobered, "Guys..there's something I need to talk to you about." He glanced over his shoulder to make sure the others weren't coming.

Arthur and the twins took note of his sudden change and calmed themselves down, "What's wrong?"

Harry sighed and told them about what he had encountered concerning the two youngest Weasleys still in the store. He didn't really know their mother all that well decided to wait till he was positive about her.

"That girl needs a talking to..she's far too young to be acting like that!" Arthur snapped, appalled at his daughter's actions.

When they heard about Ron, the twins sighed.

"Was afraid this would happen." George said.

"Quite." Fred agreed, "You see, Harry, our little brother has certain issues.."

"Like the fact if someone else gets something, he see it as a personal shot at himself."

"And since just about every Weasley's been in Gryffindor, he kind of looks down at the other houses. And since you two are supposed to be best friends, he feels you associating with a non-Gryff is something of a personal insult."

Harry's eyes narrowed, "Well, if he believes he can dictate who I talk to, he is sadly mistaken." Any respect he had for the redhead was diminishing rapidly.

They went back in, only to come face to face the LAST person he wanted to see that day: Draco Malfoy.

"Potter??" Malfoy looked at him with a mix of being startled and a little wierded out before schooling his features into a disgusted sneer, however, he was quickly stopped by a clawed hand in his face.

"Malfoy, I got a lot on my mind right now. So last thing I need is a whining, inbred, pillock like you opening his yap." He ignored the other boy's muttering of 'My father...' before almost grabbing his face, "And another thing, " He replaced the hand with his own face, "You have ANY idea for pathetic you sound trying to use your old man as a threat? Grow a bloody backbone!." With that, he turned back to Arthur, leaving a pureblood sputtering furiously in his wake. "I'm going to grab my books. I'll be in a few minutes."

As he rummaged through the shelves, along the way thinking the person that made the list had to be a Lockheart fangirl, he noticed a familar face, "Hey Susan."

"Harry!" The Hufflepuff smiled, "You caused a ruckus when you clobbered Lockheart! I think I hurt myself trying not to laugh."

"Well he should know better than to grab a minor like that." His ears flickered indignantly, "I feel violated now. Anyway, Susan, I'd like to apologize for Ron's uncalled for behavior earlier. I'd like to, but I won't. If he wants forgiveness, he'll have to do it himself."

"It's ok. A lot of Gryffindors and Slythrins don't think too highly of us."

"Hope I don't fall in that category." He replied, pretending to look hurt, his ears back against his head.

A brief 'Awww!" from above brought his attention to the blone that was with her earlier. This time, something was different.

"Um, Susan..I thought your mom's hair was blond and waist-length. How come now it's shoulder long and brown?"

She let out an aggravated 'humf!" at the woman, "Tonks! You know better than to change like that when you're supposed to be one look!"

"Oh, bugger.. thought no one would notice!" The woman said.

Suan sighed, "Harry..my parents died when I was little."

"Ohhh" His eyes widened, "OH! Oh, oh man..I'm really sorry, Susan! Honest! I didn't know."

"It's all right. I live with my aunt now. This is Tonks. My aunt's busy right now, so she's helping me get my books and things."

"Cool," He looked at the other woman, "How do you do that thing with your hair?"

Tonks grinned, "I'm a metamorphmagus. We can change our appearance at will." She shook her head and her hair changed to lime green, then bubblegum pink before going back to blond.

"Cool, the green looked better on you than pink. Well, I better get going. I'll see you at school, Sue." He kissed her hand before hoisting his books up and returning to the Weasleys.

Had he stayed a little longer, he would've heard the following conversation:

"He kissed me..I got kissed by Harry Potter!" Susan squealed happily. Both Tonks and her aunt knew about the small crush she had on the boy.

However the metamorph couldn't help herself: "On the hand."

"It still counts!"

"No it doesn't."

"It does!"

"Doesn't."

"Does!"

"Doesn't."

"Does!"

'Doesn't"

'Doesn't!"

'Does."

"Ha!"

"Crap!"

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When Harry got back, he was treated to the sight of Mr. Weasley applying a beautiful right hook to a man that looked disturbing like Draco. For some reason he felt the need to start yelling "Jab! Jab! Haymaker!" Before Hagrid pulled them apart.

After the two blonds left, he learned that it was Lucius Malfoy, Draco's father. He had decided to antagonize Arthur, but didn't expect the black eye he got for his efforts.

"I'm impressed, Mr. Weasley. Didn't know you had a nasty left like that." Harry grinned.

"Honestly!" Molly huffed, clearly disapproving of Harry's comments.

"What? I like a good fight, as long as I'm not in the middle of it." His grin immediately became cheeky."

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I've read a few fics where the Lovegood house was close enough to the Weasleys for Ginny and Luna to visit. Can anyone help confirm that for me?


	4. Chapter 4

Speech

_Thought._

**Xadro: **Actually Tonks was kinda just a last minute idea after you reminded me that Susan's parents were dead.

Just so you know, he'll have a few cat-like habits, of couse they'll be getting him in trouble sometimes too.

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"Let's see...powdered moonstone...wormwood....kneazle nail clippings..." Hermione murmured to her self, checking over what she needed to restock in her potion ingredients. Dan and Emelia, her parents, were doing their best to make heads or tails of all this magic business. even though their daughter had been an official witch for a year now, it was still rather new to them and they were a tad apprehensive since a lot of wizards didn't think too highly of non-magical people.

"Dad, do you see a jar or bottle labled 'Essence of...." She was cut off by what sounded like the mutterings of someone finally realizing something..

"Wait..I can see fine without these now...why the buggery am I even keeping them? Old and I can't even wear them properly now anyway"

She turned to see someone tossing what looked like an old pair of glasses there shoulder. She immediately recognized them, "Harry? That you?"

"Huh? Oh, hey, Herm....." The rest of the voice faded away when the figure faced her.

It had to be him, couldn't it? After what they had gone through last year, it wasn't hard to recognize the messy black head of hair and bright green eyes of one Harry Potter. At least, until she noted that his eyes looked more catlike.

And the ears.

And tail.

Now, this is where it gets interesting: First, there was the rational side of Hermione, the logical, rule-following part, wanted to yelp about the changes and start bombarding him with questions about it. It wanted to know if it was a transfiguration mishap, one of the twins pranks, or possibly a deliberate curse; as well as scold him if he had done it himself.

Then there was the friend side; the part of her that wanted to know what happened out of worry, wanting to be sure he was all right and hoping there were no bad side-effects. Although, it too was ready to scold him for making her worry.

Then, there was the third side, the best way to describe it would be calling it a 'girl factor' of sorts, since most girls, especially at that age, have a propensity for things that could be considered cute. This side was limited to two reactions at the moment; realizing that without his clunky old glasses, he was rather attractive. And a gleeful squeal at the idea of a real-life 'catboy'. It joined in the already heated argument between the 'Rational' and 'Friend' sides; mainly by helping doubleteam 'Rational' for the win.

The fact Hermione Granger was a cat lover helped somewhat.

"Harry??" She stared, "W-wha.."

He held up a hand, "It's a long story, Hermione. If you want, I'll explain on the Express. I'm still getting used to it right now. _C, think it'll be safe to tell her?"_

_"Judging from the fact she looks like she's dying to touch your ears, I don't see the harm. Besides, I'd have to say she seems more trustworthy than the redhead." _C replied, holding back a snicker at the girl's hand inching forward

Harry sighed and lowered his head, "Yes, they're real, Hermione. Go ahead. Just go easy."

As soon as he gave the ok, her hands shot foward and began massaging them. The moment that happened, instead of feeling ticklish, Harry almost went into a boneless heap, _"Merlin! That feels good..."_ He could hardly keep the blissful look off his face as the bushy-haired witch gently scratched them.

"Wow..they are.." She giggled when her fingers brushed by his hair, "Harry..your hair..it's fur now! Cat fur!" She couldn't resist and buries her face in it running her fingers through as well, " Heehee, it's so soft!"

"Hermioneee..." He drifted off as a low rumble began to emenate from deep inside his chest and throat, catching the attention of her parents. As well as a few other people in the shop.

_"Is that..it is! He's purring...it's so cute!" _She though happily, scratching his head close as she petted him.

"Hermione Jane Granger! What are you doing to that boy?" Emelia called out, making her daughter snap back to reality, "And....is that boy purring??"

"I'm not complaining..." Harry replied contently, the rumble still going strong.

"Oh!" She flushing scarlet, "Uh..Mom, Dad this is Harry Potter, one of my friends at school I told you about."

"Seems like you two are _very_ close." Dan commented, laughing when Harry got the hint and quickly composed himself.

"Uh, no, we aren't! That is..we are..but not like that! We're just friends...oh, bugger! Hermione, a little help??" He whimpered.

Meanwhile, C was laughing his ass off, _"Don't worry, Harry. Something tells me this won't be the last time you meet parents like this."_

_"Quiet, you..." _

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This is sort of an omake chapter. Had forgot Hermione was there too and this was kinda cheap way to bring her in and for Harry to find out his new body will be a bit of a curse as well as a blessing.

That and I couldn't resist having her react like that to his change.


	5. Chapter 5

**Harry: I will purge order from these halls! Chaos will reign supreme and I shall be master of all! *insane laughter***

**Luna: *bounces around* Ooh! Can I be your slave girl?**

**Harry: *sputters* L-Luna, put your clothes back on!**

Speech

_Thought_

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"Oh man. I'm in trouble aren't I?" Harry gulped, staring up at the intimidating man. Hermione had said her parents were dentists; but she failed to mention her father was built like a frigging brick wall!

"Well, the unofficial dad laws normally require I instill the fear of god in you, but I guess I can let it slide this once. So you're the Harry Potter she keeps talking about. You and that redheaded boy..Ron something."

"Weasley?"

"Yeah him." Hermione's father looked Harry over, "Though, she didn't mention you having cat ears."

"Heh, yeah...well, lets just say a lot has changed lately." He replied. Technically it was the truth. He just didn't want a lot of people learning exactly what had happened. At least until the changes C mentioned were finally done with.

Hermione sighed, her rational side finally getting itself back together, "Harry, these are my parents; Daniel and Emelia."

"Hi." He said, making sure his hands stayed in his pockets where he was sure they wouldn't get him in trouble.

Dan chuckled, _"'l'll admit this is the first time Hermione's really acted like...well, a girl. Though I think that might be because he's got those ears." _

He was rudely broken from his train of thought by a loud, and in his opinion, highly rude redheaded boy who appeared to be the same age as Harry and Hermione came stomping up and attempted to pull her away, barking, "Get away from him, Hermione!"

Dan's eyes narrowed. Judging from what she had said about him, this had to be that Ron boy.

"Ron! What are you doing?!" Hermione yelped, pulling her arm away from him.

Ron frowned and tried to pull her away again, this time hard enough to make her wince in pain "I said get away from him! He's a bloody house traitor!"

_"Ok, this little shit is asking for it; I don't give a damn if he is a wizard, NOBODY treats my girl like that!" _Dan was prepared and determined to pop this little beanpole's head like a zit. Or, he would have, except now it was Red's turn to be in pain in the form of Harry having a surprisingly firm grip on his wrist.

"Are you ok, Hermione?" He asked, his free hand running over where Ron had grabbed her.

She nodded. "Yeah, just wasn't expecting it." She glared at the boy, "Ronald Weasley, I'm giving you to the count of five to explain to me what the bloody hell you think you're doing before I let you have this conversation with my father!" She growled.

"That would be my doing, Hermione." Harry answered, "I'm afraid that would be my doing. Ronald and I have officially parted ways..."

**FLASHBACK**

**XXXXXXXX**

"Where the bloody hell do you get off talking to that Hufflepuff again?!" Ron growled once they were back outside in the alley, getting in Harry's face in an attempt to intimidate him.

However, he quickly realized it wasn't working when the dark-haired boy simply frowned and stared him dead in the eyes, "And where exactly do YOU get off thinking I need your permission to talk to people? "Harry's lips curled as he let out a feral growl, "If YOU don't like talking to people from the other houses, that's your choice, but do not presume to tell me to do the same"

"Listen Potter." Ron growled, though thi time it sounded more like a rat trying to yodel, "Those others are little more than squibs and nerds." Harry's frown deepened at the nasuiated look Ron suddenly got, "And slimy snakes. If you want to get through school, you better straighten up and fly right!"

"Let me guess; that would be by hanging around Gryffindors, and Gryffindors only, am I right?"

"Glad to see you're finally thinking." The thick-headed boy replied smugly, patting Harry's cheek in a condescending manner.

Without warning, Harry's hand grabbed Ron by the collar and literally hoisted him a few inches into the air. He was almost as startled as Ron was but managed to hide it. Thankfully, C was quick to let him know his magic was temporarily amplifying his strength at the moment due to his emotions. "You know Ron, if this attitude of yours is recent, it sickens me; if not, then I'm ashamed of myself not to have seen it before."

"What's going on here?" Arthur demanded, hearing Ron yelp.

"Mr. Weasley, I'm sorry, but I cannot bring myself to associate with your youngest son." He let go, allowing the boy to drop roughly on his arse, "I have no respect for someone that looks down his nose at another house like he does and expects others to think the same."

"Big mistake, Potter." Ron growled, this time sounding like a rat doing opera, "By the time I'm done, they'll be calling you the 'Outcast-That..' OW!" He grabbed the back of his head after the twins smacked it rather vigorously.

"Ron, shut up." They both said, "You're already showing you're an arse."

"All right, you two. Knock it off." Their dad commanded before hoisting his youngest son up, "And YOU have some explaining to do, young man."

**FLASHBACK END**

**XXXXXXXX**

Hermione could only stare, slight confusion on her face before forcing herself to speak, "Tell me you're joking, Harry. He's acting like this just because you talked to someone in another house?"

He could only shake his head, "If I was, I doubt it would be a very nice one, Hermione." He said, finally letting go of Ron's arm. The moment he did, though, Ron scowled and stuck his wand directly into Harry's face, almost poking him in the eye.

"You are NEVER to talk to Hermione ever again, you hear me Potter?!" He growled, jabbing the tip a little closer, "She's off limits to the likes of..."

Harry's 'OH SHIT!' meter began to blare like mad when he saw his female friend's eyes darken. Thanks to Dudley's 'Harry Hunting' sessions, he had managed to develop a way of telling when something was about to turn ugly; like a spider sense...or 'kitty' sense given the circumstances. He gave Dan a nervous look, "I think we better back up outta the blast zone." He said, lightly nudging the man back a bit before the fireworks started.

"Ron Weasly.." She started, the air suddenly getting abnormaly cold, "What gives you the riight to tell someone they can't speak to me, with me present no less!? Like Harry said, you are in NO posistion to dictate who I socialize with!"

"He knows I've already called dibs on you. Who else am I gonna get to do my homework for me!?" He snapped, not realizing he had basically committed suicide right then and there.

"Dibs?! Do your homework FOR you!? RONALD BILBUS WEASLEY, HOW DARE YOU PRESUME TO MAKE THAT CLAIM! I AM NOT YOUR PROPERTY!"

All Ron could do in reply was gulp as she stepped forward, her left knee rising with terrifying velocity.

*THUD!*

Dan, Harry, and pretty much every male that saw hissed in sympathy pain as the redhead slowly crumpled to the floor, curled into the fetal position and eyes crossed.

"Harry, right?" Dan whispered, "Take note: that's the number one reason to NEVER piss a girl off."

Harry quickly nodded, "I'll keep that in mind."

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I know things are a little slow so far. Don't worry, it'll speed up some in the next few chapters.

Contemplating on if Harry should get the Vorpal Blade.


	6. Chapter 6

**Harry: *Looking surprised as he rifles through a stack of papers* Hermione? Daphne Greengrass? Luna? *drools* Susan Bones? Tonks? I'm a chick magnet! YES!!**

Speech

_Thought_

**ReflectionsOfReality:** I think I can work with something like that

**Kazua: **Yeah, he'll be somewhat off-kilter. Little bit of a pervert too. As for extra 'toys', I'm thinking the Card Deck and/or the Demon Dice, (imagine a death eater or Voldemort sneering at a 'toy' harry tosses at their feet, only have it blow up in their face, literally. Killer kiddie toys..that would HAVE to count as 'the power he knows not' right?)

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Just a few days had gone by since Hermione came pretty damn close to making sure Ron could never have children, much to Percy's chagrin and Fred and George's amusement. The boy got a hefty dressing-down from his dad for trying to force others to act like him and a fair bit of teasing from the twins to add insult to injury. Of course, after that, Hermione wasn't too keen on being around the boy either.

Right now though, that was the farthest thing from his mind since his new tenant was busy waking him up.

_"Hey, Harry." _C whispered, which was unnecessary, since nobody else could hear him, "_You ever find any other items with the spirit of somebody in it before we met?"_

_"Wha..?" _Harry sat up in bed, annoyed at being woken up in the middle of the night. _"What..? No, as near as I know, your collar is the first. Why?"_

_"Well..I was kinda just wandering through your mind, mainly outta boredom, and found your magic core. Gotta admit, looks pretty. Big ball of yellows and greens, and blues and reds.."_

_"What's your point??" _Harry muttered, eager to get back to sleep.

_"There's this old purple glowing guy by it." _C started to sound either wierded or grossed out, _"He's all wrinkly and bony and junk...and...*urp* he's naked and humping your core like a dog in heat..."_

If anything could wake up a hetrosexual young man, it would be that combination of words, _"WHAT?"_

_"I'm looking at him! Sick bastard's grunting like a chimp on meth!" _Harry could hear C fighting the urge to vomit, "_Want me to try and get rid of him?"_

_"Wha...? YES!" _He didn't really know what C was actually looking at, but part of him was insistent that he be glad.

_"Ok, here goes..ugk..just hope I ain't gotta touch him too much. Oi! You, the sick geezer! What the hell you think you're getting off on, huh??........News flash, ugly, that ain't yours!.......Exsqueeze me?.....Come over here and say that, you punk-ass little.......Bring it on, beeyatch! I'll go jabberwock on your ass!"_

Harry had no clue what the 'old man' was saying, but it definitely pissed C off. The next several minutes could only be described as a cross between a hangover-induced migraine and feeling like he had gotten off a merry-go-round traveling at mach 2 due to the resounding brawl C and the old man were engaged in. At one moment, he could have sworn he heard furniture breaking in his head

_"Son of a...!" _Harry hissed as he grabbed his forehead, feeling the scar suddenly throb, _"What the hell's going on!?" _He could feel the throbbing gradually increase to the point where he was about to let loose with the most vigorous swear chain he could muster, or would have if he wasn't bunking with the twins that night. He gritted his teeth until..

'POP!"

It sounded like a huge balloon exploding. Harry's head snapped back, sending him back into his pillow and oddly enough, back to dreamland. Though it did wake up the Weasleys. Fortunately, they were all too sleepy and assumed it was just the ghoul in the attic.

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The next morning, Harry woke up feeling somewhat strange. Strange in the fact that he couldn't even remember the last time he felt that great. His whole body felt refreshed and his couldn't resist letting out a lout purr as he stretched, _" Wow..I feel great for some reason."_

_"Probably because that creepy guy's gone now." _C said. He sounded like he had just gotten out of a bar room fight, _"Pervert put up a hell of a fight, I'll tell you. Kept going on about you belonging to him now and crap like that."_

_"I take it that pop was him making his exit then?"_

_"Kinda...he sorta just went up like a balloon after he took that pickax to the testicles. _(Harry cringed at that idea) _But the good thing is your core looks fine now. Cool, I can see myself in it." _Sounds of what indicated he was making silly faces in his reflection followed

Before he could respond, the twins roused from their own slumber.

"Seems someone had a rather pleasant dream last night." Fred said, giving Harry a grin.

"Quite, brother. Perhaps getting another scratch by Hermione?" George added.

"Oh shut up, the both of you." Harry muttered as he got up.

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The remainder of the summer went by in a blur as Harry had to deal with the remaining changes C warned him about. No matter how much tried to get him, he seemed to stay slender. He was pleasantly surprised to see he was starting to put on a little bit of muscle as well, though that seemed to be more from C's suggestion that he start working out more as well as practice controlling his invisibility. It didn't take long for him to get the hang of it to the point where he could make specific points of his body vanish. He took delight in making Fred and George shriek when he snuck up behind them one night with his head mostly invisible, leaving only his eyes and teeth.

Unfortunately, there was a downside to the change: his whole body was almost perpetually sore from an unexpected growth spurt. The striped fur he was now growing on his shins and forearms didn't really help matters. In the summer heat, all it really did was force him into t-shirts and shorts while he was outside in order to keep from overheating.

He quickly learned his new feline traits had their positive and negative aspects as well. On the plus side, his senses were boosted and the night vision was a definite bonus. His body was now surprisingly limber and flexible; he could bend over backwards and almost press against the back of his legs. More often than not, he caught himself going to all fours when he went for a jog

On the negative..he'd sometimes get a sudden desire to have his ears and head scratched again. Though that he was able to resist. However, the urge to nap out on the sun was a bit stronger.

Sadly, during those moments, he never caught the twins with the camera they had gotten hold of in Diagon. Especially when they caught him sleeping just like a cat.

Aside from that, things were going rather normally...

Untill Harry met one somewhat unusual girl...

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"Where are you..?" He muttered to himself as he prowled around the pond near the Burrow. There had been a fish swimming around that caught his eye, thanks to the taste for milk and seafood he had developed. He didn't have a pole, and diving in would only stir up everything and make catching it damn near impossible. So his only option was to wait for the right moment to knock it out of the water.

After what felt like the majority of the day, he finally saw his opening and struck. His claws hooked it in the gills and sent it flying over beside a bush...

And into the waiting clutches of a smug-looking cat. No sooner did it land did the cursed feline dart out and snatch it up.

"Oi!" You put that down, you thieving hairball!" Harry hissed, bristling at it it, "I spent all bloody day trying to catch that!"

The cat simply let out a muffled meow that sounded oddly like mocking laughter. That was it for the hungry, and now irate, ravenhead.

"Why you little..!!" He snarled and with that, the chase was on!

_"YEEE-HAAWWW! Second gear! Second gear!" _C cried out as the two tore around the yard a couple of time, much to the family's amusement, before darting off into the woods.

"Shouldn't we have let him know there were a few wild kneazles in the woods?" Ginny asked her parents, a bit of uncertainty in her voice.

The thieving cat, to Harry's alarm and annoyance, was surprisingly quick. Even when he dropped to all fours and went all out, it somehow managed to keep just out of reach. They darted around trees, over and under exposed roots and stumps, between jutting. Both were pushing themselves beyond their limits (imagine the speeders in Return of the Jedi)

Soon he noticed the furry bandit was begin to feel the stair and started to slow, "Ha! I got you now, you little..!" He cackled, ready to pounce. However...he was unprepared for the sudden turn it made...

Right in front of a stone wall with an impressive, and thunderous 'BOOM!'

The structure visibly shuddered a bit from the impact. Leaving a now shell-shocked Harry to slide down from the spiderweb his collision created.

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"Are you ok, Mr. Kittyman? You really shouldn't run into buildings like that. I don't think it's very healthy." A somewhat dreamy and cheerful voice faded into existence, 'Though, if you enjoy it, I should think it's not really my place to tell you otherwise."

"Unngghh.." Harry groaned, rubbing the lump he was now sporting, right by his scar. It took him a moment to let his senses fall back into place from his self-inflicted braindusting, "I'll tell you as soon as the bells stop ringing in my head," He replied absentmindedly. Shielding his eyes from the light he forced himself to look to see who was there. His search was answered by the sight of a small girl with silver-blue eyes and dirty blonde hair that draped to the middle of her back. As soon as their eyes met, she knelt down beside him.

"Oh, good. You're conscious!" She chirruped.

_"No way...." _C said, disbelieving evident in his voice, _"....Alice??"_

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Chapter 6, she is done!

Waddaya think? Should Luna be a pervert toward Harry when she gets older?


	7. Chapter 7

**Harry: What's the sound of one hand clapping?**

**Draco: *snorts* I don't know!**

**Harry: *grabs Draco's collar* Me either, but this is the sound of you getting bitch-slapped! *cue multiple loud smacks***

Speech

_Thought_

Wow...um..wow..looks looks like by popular vote (VERY popular), Pervert Luna it is. (she'll probably rub off a little on Susan and Hermione) course I 'll probably wait till Harry's fourth year. (puberty'll be an interesting event)

**kami no ryu: **And you should probably pity them. lol

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_"Huh? C, what are you talking about?"_

_"That girl..she looks just like...Harry, quick, ask her name, hurry! There's something I gotta find out."_

_"All right, all right. keep your fur on." _Harry took a second to shake out the cobwebs, "Hi..um..where am I, exactly?" He took a look at what he impacted, and started wondering how the heck a giant chess piece could pop outta nowhere on him.

"This is the Lovegood Residence. I'm Luna Lovegood." Luna stepped back to let him get up.

"Hi..Luna. I'm Harry.."

"Potter. Yeah, I saw you having an argument with Ronald Weasley in Diagon Alley earlier this month."

"Oh, you saw that, huh?" He said sheepishly, "Guess in the middle of everything wasn't really a good place to have a falling out."

_"No way.." _C said, finally processing the info, _"Harry...Lovegood was Alice's surname..ask her if she knows anyone by that name."_

Harry rolled his eyes, _"You better have a good reason for making me question her like this. _Um, Luna..not to be nosey, but.. you wouldn't happen to know an Alice Lovegood by any chance?"

This caused the girl to brighten considerably, "Oh, you know my Great-Grandmother?" She smiled before giving him a calculated look, "Judging from the color of your fur, I'm guessing you must be related to an old friend of hers, the Cheshire cat!"

"Well, not quite. _Think I should tell her?"_

_"Probably best if you do. Just let her know it'd be a good idea not to tell anyone." _C said, still amazed he was looking at one of his old friend's relatives.

"Luna, me and the Cheshire Cat aren't really related." He lifted his head and let her see the collar.

"Whoa.." Luna whispered, "That's his, isn't it?"

"Yeah." He took a few minutes to explain things to her.

"So you're the new one now, that sounds like fun!" Before he could respond, Luna suddenly reached over and got a big mouthful of the fur on his left forearm, "Ew!" She yelped, spitting out the loose hairs, "You aren't yummy at all! The Prophet lied!"

"Uh..pardon?" Harry wasn't too sure if he was going to enjoy the answer as he watched Luna rush into the building and return with a copy of the Daily Prophet from a couple of weeks ago.. "They gotta be joking.." He groaned, reading the article...

_**Boy-Who-Lived**_

_**Now 'KITTY-Who-Lived'!**_

_It would appear that the savior of the wizarding world apparently has a bit of magical creature in him; something definitely feline judging from that adorable set of ears and tail he's now sporting. At first this (junior) reporter thought it was just transfiguration mishap, but that suggestion was quickly dashed when I spied one Hermione Granger, upcoming 2nd year student of Hogwarts, and close friend of said boy, (Would it be kittyboy now?) burying her face in his hair and happily scratching his ears (Lucky bloody little..*the following has been censored*) The only words I was able to catch over Harry's purring was 'hair' 'fur and 'soft''; that and his reaction to said attention seemed to be a fair indicator that it is all him. If he was cute before...Merlin..._

_Only questions now are: Harry part-what now exactly? And what will be the reaction he'll receive at school?_

_One thing is for certain, I'm willing to bet galleons to grindylows that if he can keep this up, I won't be the only girl to sum him up in one word: YUMMY._

_Written by Lisa Turpin, Junior Prophet Reporter, 4th Class._

Harry found himself flushing scarlet at the idea a girl would even think of him in _that_ manner, _"I'm actually turning heads? Me?"_

Meanwhile C was doing the Butterfly in his head, singing _"Go Harry, Go Harry Go! Go Harry, Go Harry Go! Ha! I KNEW there was a reason that Weasley girl kept trying to hide all the papers from him! If I didn't know better I'd swear she's already trying to stake her claim."_

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After he managed to come down from his surprise high at the article, Luna let him know she'd be joining him the coming term. As the two chatted, he told her a bit of what happened in his first year. She seemed impressed at how they helped Hermione with the troll, but as he told her, he found himself looking into things with a clarity he never noticed before.

_"Kinda ironic. If Ron hadn't been such a prick to Hermione, I dunno if I would've ever made friends with her. Though, if he hadn't, she more than likely wouldn't have been in the line of fire to start with. Then again, I didn't really help much in stopping him. When it comes down to it...I don't really know why I made friends with him in the first place..we barely have anything in common. I like Quiddich, but it's not my life..prefer the flying more than anything. Hate chess, always had_. Wouldn't even bother except_ Ron wouldn't stop pestering me till I did. Sometimes I think he just wanted to play me so he could gloat over the win. Hell, the only reason I don't try as hard in my schoolwork is my 'aunt and uncle' don't like their soggy blimp of a son getting shown up and got it beat into me so much it's gonna be a pain getting it out. Ron sure as hell didn't help much with that. I swear he probably would have gotten pissed if I had tried, if his attitude now is any indication. You know..to hell with them and him. If they can't take me being myself, or the new myself, that's their problem."_

After that bit of inner monologue, Harry didn't know it, but he was standing up just a little bit straighter.

Once he was done with his tale, Luna decided it was her turn to tell some about herself; her father, Xenophillus, ran a magazine known as the Quibbler. Sometimes she helped him out with it was sort of a rival to the Prophet as a news article. ("Goblin pies? Are they even edible??" Harry thought as he looked through one of the copies she handed him_, "And what the hell's 'Rotfang'?_) Plus, according to Luna, Alice was a squib, the opposite of a muggleborn witch or wizard. Even though they can't use magic themselves, they can still see magical items or creatures. Apparently this was what let her see the White Rabbit, much less get into Wonderland in the first place.

_"Man, you would have liked the Rabbit, Harry." _C said, reminiscing on an old friend._"He was actually kinda cool. Major speed freak, deliberately getting himself late for something so he'd have an excuse to go all out. Only guy in Wonderland besides me that could keep the Mad Hatter and March Hare in line, too. Personally, I'm still convinced he had the hots for Alice; she was a major fox and he would always, ALWAYS get tongue-tied and tripped over his own feet around her.. Heh, me and the Dormouse would tease him about it nonstop."_

One of the more out-of-the-ordinary things he learned was that 'Lovegood' was her mother Matilda's name. Apparently her father agreed to take it after losing the majority in a forty-hour-long Gobstones marathon. {If that doesn't say Lovegood, I don't know what does}

"Well, that's something that doesn't happen too often. Your mom help with the Quibbler too?" As soon as he finished, he regretted saying it.

The cheerful look on her face faded, "She's not around anymore..she died when I was little.." Next thing Luna knew, she was wrapped up in a pair of furry arms and pressed slightly against Harry. {Dunno how tall Luna would be at 11, so I'm just assuming she'd be about up to his neck}

"I'm sorry, Luna..I didn't know." He said quietly.

"It's o-ok, Harry..I've never really talked about it." She replied, trying hard to keep the squeak out of her voice.

"Well..if it helps any...you still have your father. Heck, I need a photo to remember what my parents look like."

"Like you said, you didn't know." She fought hard to resist snuggling into the impromptu hug.

"So, any idea which house you might be in?" Harry asked, letting her go, "Not trying to be nosy, I mean, just outta curiosity."

"I-I'm not sure, " Luna said, halfway between disappointed at the hug ending and hoping he didn't notice the pink tint on her cheeks, "Loyalty runs big in my family, so I could be Hufflepuff. But, my mom made sure I took pride in being smart too, so there's always Ravenclaw."

"Cool."

Suddenly a voice called out from inside, "Luna, better get inside, looks like we're about to get some rain."

"Ok, Daddy." Luna hollered back, "Would you like to come in?"

"That's ok, I'm staying at the Burrow for now. I better get going." He took a look around, "Um..can you point me towards it?"

"Oh, sure." She pointed over the hill, and after being thanked, watched him dash off. Once he disappeared from view, she skipped back inside as the rain started to fall, a smile back on her face and blush still visible, "Think I'm going to like going to Hogwarts"

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Just a wee bit of fluffiness for the ladies there.

No, Harry wasn't flirting, he just thought he had upset her with his question and felt he should try an at least comfort her in some manner.

next time: Off to Hogwarts!


	8. Chapter 8

**Sometimes, just sometimes, I'm convinced Ginny Weasley qualified as "Miss. Creepy-Little-Stalker Girl"**

Speech

_Thought_

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"Another summer come and gone." Hanny said as he packed his trunk, "Ready to hit the books again, Hed?"

The snow white owl let out a bark of agreement, as if saying "Let's roll!" Oddly enough, Hedwig didn't really seem all that fazed by her human's changes, though she did feel the need to see if they were real. Aside from that, as far as she was concerned, he was still her Harry; just with extra stuff.

He chuckled, "At least now we can get away from 'Little Miss Creepy'." A shudder ran down his spine at what the younger female Weasley had tried to do since their trip to Diagon. He'd actually learned to go invisible in a split second due to to the girl almost constantly following him around, a rather unsettling smile on her face as she do so. Hedwig had actually started taking the role of 'watchowl' during some of his catnaps; even she knew the girl was becoming a bit of a stalker. What was scarier was the fact that he had caught her trying to 'snuggle' up to him a couple times, and Mrs. Weasley was nearby! The woman didn't even seem to mind..in fact, she actually looked like she approved!

"Well, that's everything." He said, tossing the last of his clothes into the box and closing it up. After putting Hedwig back in her cage, he heard Fred whistle.

"Oi, Harry! Hurry up, we need to get going!"

"I'm coming!" He called back, grabbing the cage and dragging his trunk behind him.

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Once they arrived at the station, Harry quickly hid his ears and tail, getting an odd feeling in his gut, _"C, you don't think that crazy elf'll try something else to keep me from going, do you?"_

_"Judging from what he did before, I wouldn't doubt it. I'd suggest some kind of distraction."_

Harry thought for a moment before snapping his fingers, _"I got it.. _Hey, George, I gotta hit the loo. Can you go ahead and get my stuff through the portal? I'll meet you on the platform."

"Sure, Harry." The twin said as he and his dad hoisted the trunk and Hedwig's cage onto one of the trolleys when he headed towards the restrooms.

As soon as he opened the door to hide himself, he made sure no one saw as he vanished and quickly made his way to the portal. He had to drop to all fours to keep ahead of the Weasleys as they headed to the entryway to Platform 9 3/4, that and hoping that nutter of an elf wouldn't notice he was there.

It didn't take long for him to reach the pillar, and with a quick pounce, he dove through the portal. A few minutes later, Percy and the twins came through and he reappeared nearby a few seconds later, "Thanks guys." He said, getting their attention.

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Unbeknown to him, outside the portal, Dobby lay in wait to seal the entrance in an another misguided attempt to protect Harry. As soon as the nearby clock indicated the train would be leaving in a few minutes, he noticed a boy pushing a loaded trolly towards the portal as fast as he could. Soon he heard a woman mutter "Harry better hurry." while she went through, he quickly used his magic to close the portal, "It is for Harry Potter's own good." He rationalized before disappearing, "He must stay away from Hogwarts"

However, what he failed to realize was that the remark was actually Molly wanting him to hurry from the bathroom. And, had he stuck around and taken a better look, he would have seen the boy that had now crashed into the pillar was one Ronald Weasley.

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"So...many...cup sizes..." Harry gasped as he staggered into an empty train compartment. It would seem the article spoke true, he lost count of the times a girl had succumbed to the desire to snuggle him. Not he truly minded, mind you, but the fact most of the girls were somewhat older, and several times he was embraced face-first, and level with a certain part of their body..two items to be specific.

_"I'll say. Girls around here are definatly cat lovers." _

By the time he managed to get away, his hair was even messier than normal and his face redder than a tomato.

After a few minutes he was able to settle down and let himself go limp as he got his trunk put up and the . Before he could nod off, the door opened and a familiar face came in.

"Hey, Hermione." He said, freezing when he saw the look on her face, "What..?"

"You pummeled Gilderoy Lockheart! Our new DA teacher!" She yelled, flailing her arms madly.

"He almost fondled me!" He said in his defense, "Besides, I've read his books, and to be honest, I find them to be complete and utter bovine fecal matter."

The bushy-haired Gryffindor's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets at this statement, "H-Harry! How can you say that!? Look at everything he's done!"

"Everything he CLAIMS he's done, Hermione. I read that '_Year with_ _the Yeti'_one...there are entire chapters dedicated soley to him primping and offering fashion and haircare tips. As for what he says to have done.." Harry popped his trunk open and took out the book. Flipping through pages, he came on the chapter he wanted, "Here we go, according to this, he claims he faced off against the leader of a yeti tribe and trounced it with his bare hands. Tell me, Hermione, you know how big a yeti can get?"

"Well," She crossed her eyes as she recalled one of the books she had read, "Most range from eight to nine feet tall and can weigh up to half a ton. Though some have been known to reach twelve feet and a full ton or more."

"All right. And Lockheart's what, five-nine? Five-ten? And looks to be about a hundred eighty at most, soaking wet? Add the fact that the majority of wizards don't really to exercise their bodies. Merlin, girl, Hagrid could rip his spine out and floss with it without even trying; do you honestly think that man could take on something that can be even bigger than our groundskeeper?"

The compartment was dead silent as she processed the information Harry just dropped on her.

"But..but...all the things in his books.." She said weakly.

Harry moved beside her and set a paw on her shoulder (technically his hands are cat paws now) , "Hermione, just because something is in a book doesn't automatically make it true." He noticed the somewhat despondent look on her face and moved his arm so it was around both her shoulders, "Look, if it'll help, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and save my final judgement for after we have his class, ok? If he can prove he's as good as he says he is, I'll gladly admit I was wrong."

Hermione blushed a bit at the gesture but quickly composed herself, "Ok..I'm going to hold you to that."

He chuckled, "Ok. Oh..and one more thing..Hermione, I wanna apologize."

"For what?" She asked, wondering what he had done.

"Not saying or doing something when Ron ripped you like he did last year." He said, "You were just trying to help. In all honesty, you may have been a wee bit pushy, but that was no ecxuse for him to go off like that."

"Well, maybe I did overdo it a little." She said sheepishly, "On the upside, though. In a way, you and I would probably still be at odds. So, I guess Ron did have SOME use."

Harry could only grin.

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In another part of the train, a small group of new students were chattering like mad.

"He was so CUTE! *fangirl squeal*"

"You really think that tail's real..?"

"Didn't look all THAT impressive, if you ask me.."

"'Cause no one did!!" Several girls snapped at the one responsible for the offending remark.

Off to the side, however, Ginny Weasley was glaring at them, _"They actually think MY Harry will notice them?? How stupid can you get? Once I get sorted into Gryffindor like Mum said I would, all I have to do is get him to know I'll be all he needs, and he'll be mine, hehehe, all mine!"_

The other kids quickly scooted away from the redhead who began to cackle insanely.

Nearby, Luna peeked over the top of the _Quibbler _copy she was reading and shook her head at her former friend's actions. Didn't take a seer to know the girl was starting to lose it

"That was one of our biggest differences, Gineva Weasley. You swoon over the Boy-Who-Lived. Me; now that I've gotten to talk to him, I just like Harry." The girl said to herself before returning to her magazine, "The other difference: I'm crazy by choice, you're just nuts."

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As the Hogwarts Express arrived at the end of it's journey, and the first years were escorted by Hagrid while everyone else took to the carrages, no one noticed the powder-blue Ford rapidly descending rapidly from the sky..and right onto the Whomping Willow.

Inside, the car's sole occupant, Ronald Weasley. having stolen it in order to catch up with the train, watched the surrounding branches rear back in order to deliver an arboreal can of whoopass onto the offending vehicle and muttered one thing...

"This is Potter's fault somehow..I'm sure of it."

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Now, before any Luna fans get mad at me, let me explain. In this fic, Luna will be a little crazy, when she feels like it. Ginny, however, will become the 'don't look them in the eye, and back away slowly' kinda crazy.

Without being a horcoux, and having the Cheshire Cat backing him up, Harry'll be more clear-headed and take his work more seriously without Ron distracting him. Though he'll still be kinda off the wall, (I.E. getting the suits of armor to play reggae just 'cause their there and wondering out loud what Malfoy's head would sound like if he took a croquet mallet to it.)

Next time: Let the meyhem begin! Meow!


	9. Chapter 9

**McGonagall: , would you be so kind as to tell me exactly why so many girls are suddenly interested in using feline transfiguration...on themselves!?**

**Harry: Nope, not a clue, Professor. *trying to hide the bell collar in his hand***

Speech

_Thought_

**Jd Midnight: **I know..scary, ain't it?

**Murasaki Tsukimaru: **Kinda. they won't look like elbow-long gloves, though, He has pads on his palms and fingertips, with the claws replacing his fingernails. The fur's gonna be mainly on the back of his hands and forearms. pretty much in the same way a guy has regular body hair. It's be the same for his feet and lower legs.

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Dumbledore surveyed the situation in front of him; a smug Potions professor and the youngest male Wesley who appeared to be in quite a foul mood. According to Snape, the boy had taken he family car and flown it all the way from the London train station, in view of several muggles in the process. The 'trip' ended with a collision of the Willow.

"He should be expelled for his stupidity, Headmaster." The greasy-haired man sneered at the boy.

"It's not MY fault the ruddy portal closed!" Ron snapped back.

"Impudent...!"

"Severus, calm yourself." The elderly man said, 'Grandfather Mode" going full, "Mr. Weasley, what do you 'the portal closed'? And for that matter, where is Mr. Potter? _Their never apart, this is most unusial."_

Ron snorted, "I'm done with that traitor! Him and Granger! As for the portal, like I said, everyone else had gone through, but when I tried to, I hit a bloody wall! Since the car could fly, I figured why not." He finished by muttered, "It's Potter's fault anyway, I'm sure of it."

_"They've parted ways? This doesn't sound good. Without a friend who's family is firmly entrenched in the Light, there's too great a risk for the boy to drift away." _He gave Snape the go ahead to leave, "_, _why do you call him a traitor?"

"You should have seen who he was talking to in Diagon! I tried to stop him, but he got all snarly. The git even got Granger to turn on me!"

This caused Dumbledore's twinkle to fade significantly. The idea of the Boy-Who-Lived associating with questionable characters did not sit well with him. Of course, if he had actually taken the time to ask exactly _WHO_ Harry had been talking to, he wouldn't be getting his drawers in a twist.

"That will be all, . I will have a talk with and get him to apologize for the rash action. As for your punishment; I believe a penalty of 20 points for Gryffindor and 2 weeks detention with Professor McGonagall will be sufficient."

The hotheaded redhead begant to protest, but was waved off.

_"Something has happened over the summer." _Dmbledore fretted as he began making his way to the feast, _"Whatever it was, I must try to negate the effects to make sure Harry fulfills his destiny."_

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While this was going on, down in the Great Hall, Seamus Finnegan, Dean Thomas, and Neville Longbottom were acting like Christmas had come early, and Santa Claus and the eight reindeer were actually lingerie-clad supermodels. The reason: Harry had informed them that the rumor he and Hermionie were no longer friends with Ron anymore was indeed true.

"This is gonna be bloody sweet!" Dean had to fight back the evil giggle he was holding in, "The prick doesn't have protection anymore!"

"Protection? What are you talking about?" Hermione raised an eye.

"Hermione," Seamus replied, "You have any idea how much of a complete and utter arse Ron was in first year?" When the girl shook her head, he continued, "Ron was convinced that being pals with the 'Savior of the Wizarding World' made him an instant celeb. You know how many times Pavartti almost hexed him while he tried to boss everyone around? Seems he thought he could get away with it and you'd take his side if anyone spoke up. Plus he liked to brag about how he had 'the bookworm' doing his work for him."

She and Harry shared a look, that, if anyone could read it, they'd almost be feeling kinda sorry for said 'former friend'.

Key word.._almost._

"Well, I don't know what to say, guys. At least this yeah, he won't be getting away with it." Harry said, planning suitable punishments in his head with C as he said it.

"That's a relief." Neville said, grinning as well.

Before they could continue, a loud throat clearing could be heard from the front of the room. Everyone turned to look, expecting the headmaster. instead, it was the Sorting Hat.

"Sorry to interrupt your conversation, but I'd like a brief word with Mr. Potter.." The hat called out, startling the teachers still at the front table.

"What does the hat want with you, Harry??" Hermione whispered.

"You tell me!" Came the reply.

After a quick cajoling, Harry slowly made his way to the stool.

"In private, if you don't mind." The hat said.

Harry nodded and got on the stool, sitting like a cat without thinking, and earning a few more giggles at the sight.

As soon as he put the hat on, it's amused voice rang out in his head, _"Didn't expect me to know the colors of the Cheshire Cat, did you? My boy, I was here when Miss Alice Lovegood came, and you can't lie to this hat. Shame she turned out to be a squib. Anyway.." _Harry felt the hat's voice call out a little deeper, as if calling to someone in the back of a room, _"I see you there, may as well come on out."_

C chuckled weakly, _"Uh, hi. You're not gonna rat me out are you? I still gotta teach him how to be a shameless flirt. Though, he did do a pretty good job with that Bones girl."_

_"I wondered why she was whispering to Miss Abbot and blushing towards Gryffindor Table. Bravo, Potter. As for telling about your associate..nah, where's the fun in that? Besides, I think this place could use a little bit of Wonderland madness"_

_"Ok. So..why did you asked me over?_

It was that moment that McGonagall came in with the First Years.

"Mr. Potter!" McGonagall exclaimed, "What are you doing!?" As she talked, though, her 'inner feline' was pacing around worriedly, mewing that a lost kitten was near.

"It was his idea." Harry said in his defense, pointing to the hat before returning to the conversation, _"So, what did you call me up here for?"_

_"Just wanted to make sure I wasn't seeing things." _The hat chuckled when Harry nearly fell off the chair, _"One thing though, seems was in a bit of a tizzy about you bludgeoning the new teacher in Diagon Alley. The Headmaster may be wanting to talk to you before long, so I'd recommend being on your toes" _

Harry started to get up when the hat added, _"Oh! Before I forget, here." _

The half-feline yelped as something heavy bounced off his head, "That hurt!" He muttered as he reached up under the brim to see what beaned him. His hand wrapped around something cold and metallic.

Of course, since Lady Luck had already done her lines of crack for that eon, Albus Dumbledore chose that moment to show up in time to see Harry draw a gleaming sword out from the hat, its hilt adorned with large rubies. On the blade was inscribed, 'GRYFFINDOR".

The whole room went quiet at the sight.

Dumbledore nearly wet himself when he saw the blade, _"Gryffindor's sword? How...how did he..?" _Then he saw Harry,_ "Sweet Merlin! What has that boy done to himself!?"_

_"The heck?" _Harry said in his mind, absentmindedly rubbing the welt he now had from the bonk.

_"Never know when you'll need a sword." _The hat stated,_ "That, and I just feel like pissing in the headmaster's porridge today. He's behind us right now, and freaking out if Im' not mistaken. He's been acting so damn smug and confident over the summer..I'd kick him in the balls if i had feet."_

He took a few quick practice swings and frowned, "It's nice an all, but..I don't know, it feels kinda wonky.."

_"Yeah, looks pretty cool, though." _C added, admiring the gems_._

"Ah, Harry." Dumbledore spoke up, trying to regain his composure, "Well, I must say, it was quite an impressive feat to remove the sword of Gryffindor from the hat. Why don't I take that off your hands so you can go sit back down?" He walked over, hand reaching out ready to pull the ancient weapon from the boy's grip...

Only to watch in horror as it suddenly began to shift and contort, the blade started to twist and bend with the screech of metal being ripped apart. The noise was enough to force nearly everyone to cover their ears as it got louder. A few moments later and the racket finally stopped.

Dumbledore paled at what had happened to the sword. Gone was the gleaming, ruby studded weapon of one of the school's founders. Now what could only be described as a two-foot long, double-edged kitchen knife. It looked well used, but still razor sharp, the bottom third of the blade was serrated, while the rest was straight. Even the rubies were gone, replaced by a single cat's eye agate on either side where the handle and blade met_._

_"Sweet! It looks just like the Vorpal Blade now!" _C exclaimed before the hat resumed talking

_"Actually, it IS the Vorpal Blade now. Nifty little trick Godric asked the goblins to put in it, for a hefty extra fee of course. When drawn, the blade sort of gets a 'feel' for who's welding it, and if absolutely necessary, will alter itself to match. Where do you think King Arthur got Excalibur? Godric lost it to him in a drinking game for a few years. Hell, probably would have turned into Mjolnir if it sensed that would be the right one. Makes sense that a Wonderland being would work best welding a Wonderland weapon I should think" _

"Wicked.." Harry said, letting the blade rest in his hands. He couldn't explain it, but it felt right in his hands, like he had been holding it for years.

"Congratulations, Mr. Potter. Looks like you're the proud owner of what was once Godric's sword." The hat said out loud, "Just let the goblins know when you get a chance."

"H-Harry..what have you done to the sword??" Albus said, trying his hardest to stay up before turning his attention to the hat, "And what do you mean about letting the goblins know?"

"Goblin law, Headmaster. Don't tell me you've forgotten. If someone manages to alter a goblin-wrought item enough to change it completely, then the one responsible for the altering becomes the legal owner." Harry could feel the hat shaking a bit in laughter at the old man's reaction. He now looked like he had just been given a prostate exam by a unicorn.

Unable to really forn a complete or understandable sentance, Dumbledore did the only thing he could think of; he reached to take the blade away before scolding him for 'destroying' a priceless item. _"An old-fashioned dressing down ought to bring back the meek child the I need to mold."_

"Uh-uh-uh, Albus." The hat said as he reached out, "Article 4, Subsection 2c, paragraph 5 of the Hogwarts Code; Unless the student hands it over willingly Hogwarts staff cannot confiscate Founders relics from their rightful owners. And since is now the owner of the sword as far as the goblins will be concerned, I'm afraid you're outta luck." With that, the hat began to laugh long and loud.

"I don't recall that one." Flitwick piped up from his chair.

"Nor did I!" Dumbledore declared, "You've never said anything about that!"

The hat spun around and gave him a raspberry, saying, "You never asked." before laughing again.

While this was going on, Harry was busy admiring the weapon, "I wonder how sharp it is..." His eyes suddenly lit up and an evil grin, one worthy of the original Cat himself, almost split his head, "Oi, Malfoy! C'mere!"

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Not quite as funny as the last couple of chapters, but I worked with what I could get.

Shout out to **ReflectionsOfReality **for the scenario idea.

can you guess where I got the notion for the Vorpal Blade's look?


	10. Chapter 10

**Dumbledore: We must bring young Harry back into the Light!**

**Harry: *getting dragged into a closet by Susan Bones* Screw that, it's more fun in the dark!**

Speech

_Thought_

For those still wondering. the paring will be Harry/Hermione/Luna/Susan. I may add Neville/Hannah later on (He needs some loviin' too, don't you think?)

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"I don't see what all the fuss is!" Harry called out as Professor McGonagall ushered him back to the Gryffindor table. The Deputy-Headmasterwas surprisingly quickly to catch him as he made a move to scalp the Malfoy heir, "It can grow back."

"Well, that was fun. But, I guess we better get with the sorting." The hat called out, "Professor?" It looked towards McGonagall.

"Hm? Oh..oh yes." She replied, doing her best to retain her usual strict demeanor. Her inner feline, on the other hand, was higly agitated by now. It new something was going on, even if it didn't know what exactly; as well as growing insistent about looking after the 'kitten'. She did her best to shake it off for now before picking up the list.

Hermione and the other three boys were slack-jawed when he sat back down, "Harry! Wha..why...how!?" She stammered, looking at the blade in his hand.

Harry shrugged, "The hat just said you never know when you might need a sword. Kinda does have a point." He set the blade on the table, "Like the saying goes; Better to have something and not need it, then need something and not have."

"That's oddly deep coming from you, Harry." Dean said as they applauded Colin Creevy being sorted to their house. The poor kid nearly hyperventilated when Harry gave him a nod in greeting.

"Yeah, well I scarfed down almost a dozen chocolate frogs on the way here, what do you expect?"

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At the teacher's table, Dumbledore's mind was going like a pinball, _"First, Harry severs ties with his best friend, then manages to convince Miss Ganger to do the same. Now he's become some sort of..of creature and his attitude and personality are completely different from last year, the violence he seemed keen to inflict on young Draco is proof of that..what has happened to him? WHAT?? And to top it off, he's taken Godric's sword from the hat and somehow twisted it into that..that cruel-looking weapon." _His brow furrowed in thought. _"I fear this is only the beginning of his fall..I must find a way to undo the damage he's done to himself and bring him out of the darkness."_

Looking around the hall, he quickly noticed Ginny staring intently at Harry, _"Perhaps..the Weasleys are almost as entrenched in the Light as myself.." _The headmaster began concocting a plan that, alas, would earn him a karmic ass-whooping in the future.

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"Hey, there's Luna." Harry gave the girl a wave as her name was called, earning a smile from the girl and rousing Hermione's curiosity in the process.

"Who's Luna?" She asked.

"Oh, she lives near The Burrow. Place looks like a really big chess piece."

"We didn't know you knew lil Luna, Harry." Fred commented.

"Yeah, I ran into her place over the summer. She's kinda nice. A little unusual, but nice."

"She and Ginny used to be friends when they were little." George added.

"Aye, of course, little Gin Gin would always insist they play 'Wedding with Harry Potter' with her as the bride."

Harry suppressed a shiver at that. After what she was doing over the summer, that kind of knowledge didn't help,

It wasn't long before the group was broken from their thoughts when the hat suddenly busted up laughing. "HAHAHA! Oh, now that was funny!" It cried out once it could finally talk, "Merlin, I like this kid. Now, where to put you...where, indeed." The hat seemed deep in thought for a moment before speaking up, "Well, I'd have to say the best place for you would be...HUFFLEPUFF!"

Said table erupted into applause as the girl skipped over, taking a seat as Susan and Hannah scooted over to let her in. Three immediately engaged in conversation.

_"That table should do her some good." _C piped up, _"It doesn't seem too bad compared to the way I've noticed everyone else looking at her."_

Harry nodded mentally, _"Yeah, those three already look like their getting along"_

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McGonagall gradually went down the list until she came to the name that made Harry try to hide behind Hermione.

"Weasley, Ginny!"

George shook his head, "Maybe it won't be too bad, Harry. You'll be in different classes at least"

"Yeah, but what about the rest of the time?? Hedwig had to act as my bodyguard just so I could take a bloody nap!" He mewed pitifully as the girl shamelessly made a kissing motion to him as she went to the hat.

"Well, another Weasley..let's see.." The hat muttered, "Oh my...oh my! Good heavens! OH DEAR MERLIN, get me off this girl!" The hat shrieked as it literally jumped off her head, "I cannot, on the grounds of morel and ethical standards, subject that poor guy to this! Therefore, SLYTHERIN!"

The hall went dead quiet at the hat's proclaimation before suddenly breaking into hushed whispers...a Weasley in THAT house?

Fred and George gulped, "Mum's not gonna like this...."

Dumbledore sputtered, using his Legilimancy to contact the hat, _"Are you daft!? Resort her to Gryffindor! I need her with Harry to bring him back to the Light!"_

_"Then YOU'RE the daft one, Headmaster!" _Came the retort, _"The majority of students in Slytherin are already demented, she'll fit in perfectly!"_

_"I insist you resort her! She is part of a Light-sided family, she MUST be in Gryffindor!"_

_"And I'm telling you, NO WAY! You haven't seeing what's in this girl's mind! Harry's not perfect, but he doesn't deserve that!" _

Ginny, on the other hand, was livid, "WHAT!? How DARE you not put me with my Harry!? Resort me! NOW!" She hissed, trying to put the hat bck on her head.

"No way! Not Happening!" It yelled, bounding behind McGonagall, "Your head's scary!"

"My mother'll hear about this!" She screamed as McGonagall managed to usher her over to her new table, "I'll get you for this, you miserable piece of headgear!"

Draco sneered as she sat down, "Great..a blood trai.." He was cut off when Ginny wheeled around on him and snarled, making the blonde let out a very feminine shriek as he tried to put Pansy between him and her.

"Couldn't happen to a nicer guy." Harry said as the Transfiguration teacher managed to compose herself and finish reading the list.

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Kinda ended on a dry note, I'll admit,

Know the part with Ginny was kinda overkill, but it does kinda show how badly a driven fangirl can react when denied

**Omake!**

The Horntail growled menacingly as Harry walked into the enclosure, its eyes locked on his every move.

"Well, let's see how our fourth champion fares!" Ludo Bagman's voice called out of the area, earning cheers from some, and boos from others.

Harry took a moment to survey his situation. The dragon looked ready to fry him at a moment's notice, the clutch of eggs rsting between its front legs. "She definitely looks ready for a fight. Well, only one thing to do then." He said, closing his eyes and paws. He remained like that for a moment before opening them back up, his claws glowing a pale red.

"What's he doing?" Charlie muttered, hoping he wasn't going to try something stupid.

Harry raised his paws and a melody began to play from somewhere as he did the motions of playing a stringed insturment. He did it for a chord, then raised his head. looking the dragon right in the eye as he started to sing.

_Ba ya ya ba da ba da da da da_

_Ba ya ya_

He calmly repeated the line three more times before entering the song itself.

_There used to be a graying tower alone on the sea.  
You became the light on the dark side of me.  
Love remained a drug that's the high and not the pill._

Everyone was taken aback by this. SINGING to a dragon?

Draco started to laugh, "Ha! Potter's gone mental!" Though he was quickly silenced (literally, and hogtied) by several nearby Muggleborns

"Wait..I..I know that song.." Susan said

"Same here." Hermione nodded, "And how come Harry never mentioned he could sing??"

_  
But did you know,  
That when it snows,  
My eyes become large and  
The light that you shine can be seen._

The dragon snorted as the small creature began to slowly walk towards her. She felt she should roar, or at least growl in warning, but there was something about the sound it was making. It was rhythmic and felt oddly soothing.

_Baby,  
I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the gray.  
Ooh,  
The more I get of you,  
The stranger it feels, yeah.  
And now that your rose is in bloom.  
A light hits the gloom on the gray.  
_

Harry continued to play the tune with his hands, stopping every once in a while to le the dragon focus on the music and show he wasn't a threat, _"_It's ok, I'm not here to hurt you." He whispered, keeping his hands in view at all times.

_There is so much a man can tell you,  
So much he can say.  
You remain,  
My power, my pleasure, my pain, baby  
To me you're like a growing addiction that I can't deny.  
Won't you tell me is that healthy, baby?_

"Merlin, he's gonna get himself killed!" Charlie cried, ready to order the other handlers to move in. At least, until he saw something he would have never believed if he wasn't a witness.

The dragon was starting began to relax, its wings began to fold back and its tail slowly laid back on the ground.

_  
But did you know,  
That when it snows,  
My eyes become large and the light that you shine can be seen.  
_

The stadium was in a dead silence, seeing the same thing he was.

"That's impossible.." Kakaroff said, "You..you can't calm a dragon!"

"Well, he obviously is." Luna calmly replied.

_Baby,  
I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the gray.  
Ooh, the more I get of you  
The stranger it feels, yeah  
Now that your rose is in bloom.  
A light hits the gloom on the gray,_

By now, Harry was less than thirty feet from the dragon, still looking it in the eyes. The dragon, in turn, had settled down some, lowering it's head to keep contact

He smiled, letting the tune reach a crescendo, "You're enjoying this, aren't you, girl?" He asked, still using a whisper

_  
I've been kissed by a rose on the gray,  
I've been kissed by a rose  
I've been kissed by a rose on the gray,  
...And if I should fall along the way  
I've been kissed by a rose  
...been kissed by a rose on the gray.  
_

Hell had frozen over by now. The Horntail had finally stopped growing and snarling, in its place was an oddly relaxed look.

Dumbledorecould barely believe what he was seeing.

Bagman started looking for a drink

Madame Maxine was too busy enjoying the song to care

_There is so much a man can tell you,  
So much he can say.  
You remain  
My power, my pleasure, my pain.  
To me you're like a growing addiction that I can't deny, yeah  
Won't you tell me is that healthy, baby.  
But did you know,  
That when it snows,  
My eyes become large and the light that you shine can be seen.  
_

Harry was now within ten feet on the towering reptile. Its head was lowered enough now to were he could touch it if he was close enough, gently swaying a little with the music

_Baby,  
I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the gray.  
Ooh, the more I get of you  
The stranger it feels, yeah  
Now that your rose is in bloom,  
A light hits the gloom on the gray.  
_

The last few feet were crossed, and he now stood right in front of a carnivore several times his size. Suddenly, he reached out, making everyone's breath to hitch, and began to gently stroke the massive creature's muzzle, causing it to let out a a soft growl of appreciation.

_Yes I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the gray  
Ooh, the more I get of you  
The stranger it feels, yeah  
And now that your rose is in bloom  
A light hits the gloom on the gray  
_

As he reached the last lines of the song, Harry closed his eyes and rested his head against the dragon's, in effect giving it a hug_._

_Now that your rose is in bloom,  
A light hits the gloom on the gray.  
_

He chuckled when it gently nuzzled against him, "Glad you like it. I'm really sorry you had to go through all this, girl." He said, giving it a kiss on it's snout.

Remembering the task, he quickly added, "I don't know if you can understand me, but, the crazies running this thing...they put a fake egg in your nest." He pointed to the said fake, "That yellow one right there. And they expect me to bring it back. Girl, would it be all right with you if I got it?"

Surprising even him, the horntail looked over at its eggs for a moment, and with impressive dexterity, picked the gold egg up in its claws and handed it to him.

"Thanks." He smile, giving it another hug in return.

"H-H-HARRY! Charlie was almost beside himself when the youngest champion calmly walked back to the entrance, egg in hand, "That..that..I mean..HOW?? Nobody's EVER been able walk up to a dragon like that! NOBODY!"

Harry just shrugged, "Human or not, Charlie, sometimes a girl just wants to be sung to when their upset."

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What'd you think of my first omake? The saying 'music soothes the savage beast' just kinda popped into my head when I was writing.

Dunno how true that is, so I apologize in advance to any lady reading if you disagree.

Song was 'Kiss From A Rose' by Seal


	11. Chapter 11

**Homework assignment: provide reasonable evidence as to WHY Hermione would suddenly bolt over to Ron and smooch him, simply because he didn't think getting the house elves to help would be a good idea. Bonus points if you can do it without love potions in the equation.**

**(I've long since put the details of that out of my mind)**

Speech

_Thought_

Time for a choice: think Harry should gradually keep changing as things go (becoming full anthro-cat, probably by 4th year)?

I'll be using '**XXXXXXXX' **for flashbacks in this story, just so you know

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Dumbledore watched as the 'Kitty'-Who-Lived' backed into his office, yelling at to get away from him.

"One sec, Professor." He said before glaring at the cat, "Get lost! No, I am NOT going to share a mouse with you, now go away!" Harry hissed, quickly closing the door, "God, that furball's almost as bad as Ginny.." He took one of the chairs in from if the Headmaster's desk. He couldn't explain it, but over the last few days, it seemed like Ginny and Norris were taking turns following him around in between classes. More than once, though, Ginny had already gotten in trouble for getting to class late because of that."

"Harry, do you know why you're here?" The headmaster asked, trying to keep his grandfatherly image up.

He scratched his ear for a moment, "Hm..is this about me calling Malfoy a self-absorbed swine and piss-poor excuse for a biped, and that his mother must cry every night considering that she really wanted a girl and only got half a result, since he/she minces around like a wannabe princess, as well as insinuating that his family tree forks about as much as a flagpole?"

"No, Harry." Dumbledore's eye twitched a little, "As you've no doubt heard already, Professor Snape caught the youngest male Weasley after he crashed his family's car into the Whomping Willow."

"Oh, yeah." He remembered him and C laughing their asses off the the idea of Ron getting a smackdown from a tree. The Howler he got from Molly afterwards lam-blasting him for his less-than-stellar idea was the icing on the cake, along with the one Ginny got scolding her for being put in Slytherin and ordering her to get resorted.

"He made mention that you two were no longer friends. May I ask why?"

Harry frowned, "'Cause there's no way in heck I'm gonna be friends with someone who thinks he can dictate who I decide to talk to. It didn't help him when he tried to force Hermione to sever ties with me, especially right in front of her dad."

"Now, Harry." The headmaster started, grandfather mode going full throttle, "I'm sure he was simply looking out for your well-being and simply overreacted. You should really consider forgiving him and let bygones be bygones."

An eyebrow slowly raised itself on Harry's face, "You're pulling my tail, right? Considering he didn't like me talking to Susan, as he put it, 'because she's little more than a squib' just because she's a 'Puff? I think not. Especially after learning he felt being the 'Friend-of-The-Boy-Who-Lived' gave him the right to throw he weight around Gryffindor House."

"Harry, he is your friend..."

"WAS my friend, Headmaster." He interrupted, "And to be honest, I've been wondering if he was ever a real friend to start with. Without him trying to get me to goof off, I can finally put a little more effort into my studies. Plus, no more of his constant bickering with Hermione. I wash my hands of that guy."

"_This is not good, without fear of losing Mr. Weasley's approval, he is becoming far too assertive. _Is there nothing to encourage you to at least try to mend that bridge?" Dumbledore asked, _"Young Ronald WOULD have to go and let house pride go to his head."_

"Nope. Oh, and if you see him, remind him he still owes Susan an apology for that remark."

Dumbledore raised an eye, "You wouldn't happen to be referring to Susan Bones, by any chance?"

"Yeah, that's her. Nice gal. Pretty cute when she blushes, too." He couldn't resist letting out a patented Cheshire Grin at the old man. Oddly enough, he enjoyed the slight shudder he got in return.

Dumbledore frowned mentally, _"That..smile..is most certainly NOT normal._" He took a second to regain his calm demeanor. "Um, yes. Now..there is also the matter of this..transformation of yours. It would be in your best intrest for me to attempt to undo it."

"Uh, say that again?" Harry was already starting to feel things were getting fishy.

"Now just settle down Harry. Just tell me how you did it and I should be able to return you to your old self." The old man said as he drew his wand and deftly pointed it at him.

"Hell no!" Came the reply as he suddenly did a backwards leapfrog over the chair and used it as a shield. "I happen to LIKE the new me, thank you very much!"

The headmaster would not be dissuaded, however, "Be reasonable, my boy. You have absolutely no idea how dark the majority of these transformation rituals are!"

"Professor, I don't know what makes you think I did some kinda ritual or whatnot to get this, but I sincerely doubt you have the right to just up and remove it from me with my permission or proof it's doing me harm._"_

"The fact you are behaving in a completely different manner should be proof enough, Harry! Now hold still." Dumbledore began performing a lengthy set of wand movements.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you, Albus." The Sorting Hat piped up from its place of the shelf, "Section 2, Article 10, Clause 1-c: Unless there is proof beyond a shadow of a doubt that any ritual, potion, or incantation a student has performed on themselves is more detrimental than benifical, Hogwarts staff, that includes YOU, Albus, are forbidden from undoing the effects without the combined expressed permission of the student and their parents or guardian. There is only an exception to the permission if it was performed on school grounds, and even then sufficent proof of harmful effects must be proven."

Harry paid close attention to the abrupt scowl Dumbledore gave the hat in response, _"Hm, guess I can't really trust you after all, Headmaster." _He thought sadly before schooling his features, "Well, if that's all, Professor, I better get going. First Defense class of the year."

"Very well, ." Albus watched the boy make his way out of the office before rounding on the hat, "What are you DOING, Darian!?" He snapped, "It's obvious the boy is starting to become a dark creature and needs help!"

The hat snorted, "Because YOU say so, 'Headmaster'?" There was a bite of sarcasm in the title, "As for what I'm doing..what I should have done when this whole thing started; keep YOU from overstepping your bounds! Which, may I remind you, you already have! 'Severus Snape' ring a bell?"

The headmaster's frow deepened before turning his back to the hat.

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"..And three-time winner of Witch Weekley's 'most charming smile' award." Lockheart finally ended his spiel, much to the relief of Harry and every other boy, while the girls were all entranced, "My job will be to teach you to defend yourselves against some of the foulest creatures ever to stalk the earth." He let loose with what he thought was a roguish grin, though Harry reacted by pretending to retch, earning a few stifled snorts, "After all, I didn't defeat the Brighton Banshee by smiling at it, did I?"

"Poor thing probably clawed its eyes out after seeing your creepy mug." Harry muttered under his breath. He was still trying to figure out how they got the likes of HIM as a teacher, the the only pictures in the class were ones of him! And even THEY were preening and strutting around.

When the man passed out a test, he looked at some of the questions, "Favorite color? When's his birthday?? What haircare products does he use!?" He slowly turned to look at Hermione, giving her a 'does THIS answer your question?' look.

"He probably just wants to be sure we've read the books." She whispered before getting down to answering them.

After a while, Lockheart took the papers back up, tutting as he looked through them. "Disappointing, hardly any of you remembered that my favories color is Periwinkle, or my greatest dream is total harmony between magic and non-magic people..." The toothy grin faltered when he came on Harry's paper, a crude stick-figure drawing of Harry's sticking his tongue out."

He managed to compose himself and continue the class, if you can call his idea of suddenly releasing a cage full of hyperactive Cornish Pixies on everyone a 'class', "No..no need to panic!" He called out hesitantly, watching Ron shriek as he was hoisted up by his underwear onto one of the braziers, "I'll take care of this....!"

Harry and Hermione could hardly believe their ears, "_Peskipixi Pesternomi!?" _He yelled at the man as he ran off after one of the fluttering troublemakers snatched his wand and tossed it out the window, "Lockheart, YOU SUCK!"

Hermione used one of her books to knock away a pixie that though one of Neville's ears looked tasty, "That wasn't even a real bloody spell! I can't believe that man! Honestly!"

"Ok..it's time to throw some weight around here!" Harry growled, pointing his wand as his neck and muttering a spell he found in the library. He then inhaled as deeply as he could.

**"GET YOUR FLUTTERING ARSES OUT OF MY SIGHT! NOOOWWW!!!" **His _Sonorus_-boosted voice, or roar in this case, just about shook the room and sent nearly every student to the floor. It also had the effect of terrifying the rambunctious pixies and sent them screaming out the window.

For a moment, silence reigned in the room as he undid the spell. Slowly, the others climbed back to their feet and looked at Harry with gobsmacked expressions.

All he could do was grin, "Never underestimate the power of a old fashioned bellow."

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Things'll be speeding up some the next one. Plus Snape'll be getting his soon too. Temporary? Permanent? Have to wait and find out.

**AN: **Yeah, I've misplaced my copy of CoS, so if someone would be kind enough to remind me if the rogue bludger and dueling club is before or after the holidays, I'd appreciate it.


	12. Chapter 12

**I wonder if Snape's perpetual pissy mood was simply from not being able to find his Ex-Lax? **

Speech

_Thought_

I might keep slightly close to canon until the polyjuice, but that'll be it.

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Ronald Weasley was not a happy boy; now that word had spread around that he was no longer considered a friend by the Boy-Who-Lived, any measure of respect he had was now dust in the wind. That is, if you can call trying to use a connection like that to boss people around 'respect'. And just who was at fault for all this?

_"Lousy Potter..I wasted a year giving him the pleasure of my company and THIS is how he repays me!? And that little know-it-all too..All because he had to show off and turn into a freak." _Ron grumbled to himself as he watched Katie Bell give him a frosty look and a rude hand gesture after he tried to sweet-talk..at least, what he thought was sweet-talking....her into 'helping' with his homework (AKA: do it all for him). Of course, that plan was bust and he ended up having to do it himself. Unfortunately for him, begging Hermione to do most of it over the last year meant his study habits were just slightly above his table manners.

The fact he still had a couple days of detentions with Professor McGonagall left didn't help matters. In short: the youngest male Weasley was screwed. _"He'll get his, I'll make sure of it" _Of course, while he was fuming, he failed to see the object of his animosity enter the common room and make a beeline for the twins.

"Ah, Gred and Forge. I've been looking for you two." Harry piped up, leaning foward a bit to make sure he had their attention.

"Oh, Harry. what brings you to our little corner?" George said, looking up from the parchment he was jotting down on.

Harry took a moment to sigh and said, with a face devoid of emotion, "I know about the photos. Seems your sister earned a detention after she saw Colin Creevy with one and tried to hex him when he considered getting me to autograph it"

"What are you talking...oh, those.." Fred let out a nervous chuckle as George gave the raven-haired boy an equally nervous grin. After getting the daylights scared out of them back at the Burrow, both had come to realize this was a completely new Harry from last year, in more ways than one, "Um...hehe.." Both of them may have been prankers at heart, but even they knew all it would take was a letter to Molly to end that for a long time.

"Bad form, lads. One thing to take them without my knowledge, but to not even give me a cut of the profits from them? After all, those are technically MY pictures. Very bad form"

"We were planning to split it with you after we sold all of them." Fred quicky replied, remembering the pummeling Lockhart received and hoping Harry wouldn't do something he and his brother would regret.

"Yeah, besides, mate, the girls love them."

"True, I noticed a pair of first years arguing over who owned the picture they had. However, you realize this still calls for me to punish you. I won't do it right now, of course."

The twins relaxed some until his face split in an eerie grin, "I said 'not right now'. But tomorrow, or possibly the day after, are completely different. And in case you think you can catch it in time." He held a hand up and they blanched as it faded away, "Remember, I can go invisible at will now, you can't." With those words, he headed out for his next class, leaving a now shaking Fred and George Weasley behind.

"George?

"Yeah, Fred?"

"We're buggered, aren't we?"

"Very, I'm afraid."

"That what I thought.."

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Dumbledore fought the growing urge to bang his head on his desk. In the span of apparently just one summer, all his years of work were now falling apart, "How could this have happened??" He said to no one in particular, "Harry is deviating from the life he needs to be living..."

"_And might I ask what exactly that life is supposed to be, Albus?" _The voice of Fawkes, Dumbledore's bonded phoenix, echoed in the man's mind, its tone showing a bit of disapproval. Well, 'bonded' was what the headmaster preferred to let everyone think about the circumstances with him and the bird. His pride would never allow him to admit that the phoenix simply just liked to hang around, more or less tolerating the man's presence, though now he was having second thoughts. Sure Fawkes would be willing to lend a hand...er, a talon with certain things, but that was about it. What the old man didn't know was that his feathery associate had a sense of humor that could only be counted as 'bent', and he wouldn't hesitate to act on it should the right motivation arise.

"You know very well what I mean, Fawkes. Harry must grow up humble and selfless if he is to fullfill the prophecy." The old man retorted,.

_"You forget that prophecies can be interpreted in more than one way, Albus. Besides, you of all people should know that someone can grow up the exact same why in a NORMAL household." _Fawkes stressed the word to drive how little he thought of Harry's current lodgings outside the school.

"That's beside the point. The boy's current upbringing is essential to the light's victory. This new-found confidence must be purged from his system! He HAS to be meek so he will accept my conditioning for his final encounter with Voldemort."

_"Are you even listening to yourself??" _Fawkes nearly yelled mentally, _"You''re supposed to be helping Harry, not turn him into what you alone think he has to be!" _The magical bird scowled when he noticed the man wasn't listening anymore. _"Dammit, Dumbledore! Just because YOU think something needs to go a certain way does not make it the right OR only way!"_

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Wow..been a while since I update any of my HP fics..I apologize for the chapter's poor quality, but I felt I should try and post SOMETHING. Just consider it a filler for the time being. Should help me get back into the rhythm at least.


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